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How to Avoid an Awkward Situation

We’ve all experienced those situations that make us cringe, blush or even perspire at the thought of them. Whether you are with friends, in the library or even in the comfort of your own home, those circumstances always seem to appear when you least expect it. Here are some helpful tips to make these situations as least awkward as possible.

The Creep

Following a long week of exams, papers and stress, you cannot wait to hit the town with some of your best girl friends. And perfect for you, it’s Thursday and ladies’ night at the Absinthe House. After getting a couple of cheap drinks and appetizers from that cute bartender, you are ready to hit the dance floor. Everything is going great: the drinks are flowing, the DJ’s playing all your favorite songs and you are smirking at those girls in the ridiculous 5 inch heels.

But then things suddenly take a turn for the worst, and you feel that extra wiggle room for dancing slowly vanish. Ladies, you know exactly what I’m talking about: an unwanted dance partner who just doesn’t seem to get it. As much as you try to subtly decline by standing stone cold still or peering nervously behind you, Mr. Oblivious over here wants nothing more than to invade your personal bubble.

Instead of “Jenna Marbles-ing” the poor guy, politely turn to face him and explain that you are just not interested: Using the “I have a boyfriend” excuse is always effective. If the music is too loud, you can sacrifice one of your intoxicated friends –with her consent, of course– and switch places with her. Not the bravest way to avoid the situation, but it does seem to do the trick.

The Ex

Everyone, for the most part, has an ex of some kind. Whether it is a long lost friend, a summer fling or one of those unfortunate freshman year nights of regret, we all have someone we hope to avoid at all cost. It’s terrible, but it’s a fact. There are two things to consider in a situation like this. First, on a scale of 1 to 10, how good do you look and feel at the moment of seeing this particular individual? Second, how badly did things end?

Say, for instance, that you are at the gym. You have just finished an extremely intense workout and are sweating profusely, so you probably don’t look attractive, not even a little. You could be the most beautiful or handsome person in the world, but after a hard work out, you are not going to be very enticing to the opposite sex: Harsh, but true. If you run into your ex in this situation, do not stop to talk. Do you want to go in for an awkward hug and leave a sweat mark from your face on his gray T-shirt? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

If you do run into that certain someone, put your earphones in before they recognize you, and quickly give a wave as you pass by. Awkward situation avoided. When you are looking your best, be confident. Approach them and let them feel awkward; there’s nothing more satisfying than the feeling of self-assurance.

The “Bye Evan”

Most of us have seen the witty and raunchy movie, Superbad — and if you haven’t, I urge you to watch it immediately after finishing this article. I’m sure you recall the memorable scene where shy high schooler Evan bids his crush Becca goodbye in the hallway. Mortified when he realizes that he is actually going in same direction as her, Evan quickens his pace and awkwardly speed walks ahead, which causes her to say the infamous line, “Bye Evan.”

Michael Cera can get away with such situations because, well, look at him, he’s adorable. You, on the other hand, need to play it cool. Make a joke and laugh it off. Do anything that you can to make it as least “Evan-like” as possible. If this person is someone you don’t really know, pretend you have to take a phone call and hold your phone up to your ear. It sounds stupid, but it works every time. If you don’t have your phone at hand and still don’t want to keep conversation with that person, diverge from your original path and walk a different direction. It may be tedious, but it works in your favor.

These are just a few situations that I hope you can now get yourself out of or at least make it less uncomfortable. If you’re still feeling a little awkward, here are some awkward moments that may help you feel a little better about yours.

-Kelsey Samuels

www.cuindependent.com

 
Officers Beth McNally, left, and Alishia Kunz stand in front of the Fox Theatre as hundreds of people wait in line for the free Tyler, the Creator show yesterday in Boulder, CO. Dozens of police officers responded to the disturbance from the crowd after an altercation broke out in front of a restaurant down the street. 
Zoom Info
Camera
Canon EOS REBEL T2i
ISO
3200
Aperture
f/3.5
Exposure
1/125th
Focal Length
27mm

 

Officers Beth McNally, left, and Alishia Kunz stand in front of the Fox Theatre as hundreds of people wait in line for the free Tyler, the Creator show yesterday in Boulder, CO. Dozens of police officers responded to the disturbance from the crowd after an altercation broke out in front of a restaurant down the street. 

(Source: cuindependent.com)

Denver Ballet, sure to impress! (More worthwhile than a dubstep show)

Caitlin Valentine-Ellis and Dmitry Trubchanov performing “In Pieces” choreographed by Val Caniparoli at the Ellie Caulkins Opera House in Denver. The show runs Feb. 22 – March 3. (Photo courtesy Mike Watson/Colorado Ballet)
Zoom Info
Camera
Canon EOS-1D X
ISO
1000
Aperture
f/2.8
Exposure
1/125th
Focal Length
170mm

Denver Ballet, sure to impress! (More worthwhile than a dubstep show)

Caitlin Valentine-Ellis and Dmitry Trubchanov performing “In Pieces” choreographed by Val Caniparoli at the Ellie Caulkins Opera House in Denver. The show runs Feb. 22 – March 3. (Photo courtesy Mike Watson/Colorado Ballet)

(Source: cuindependent.com)

I HATE EVERYTHING: February is the worst… thank goodness it’s over

As students, our measurement of time—specifically years— seems to be dictated more by the school year than the Gregorian calendar. Because of this, the month of February becomes this exhausting halfway point teeming with stress, a packed schedule, and endless amounts of sleepless nights with seemingly no end in sight. Instead of being a fresh beginning to a new year, it is a hell-like purgatory connecting two semesters and just far enough into the second semester to push you into possessing the emotional and mental stability of a sociopath. February is the worst month of the year, and it is almost over. Here are some reflections on its monstrosities just in case you didn’t get your fair share, and here are some things to look forward to as you prepare to flip to the next kitten picture on your kitty calendar.

(Josh Shettler/CU Independent Illustration)

(Josh Shettler/CU Independent Illustration)

February is full of far too abrupt midterms. School just began. Didn’t it just begin last week? Weren’t you just choosing second

semester classes? Weren’t you just sitting on your parent’s couch covered in wrapping paper and your childhood pets enjoying the last of winter break? Out of nowhere you get an email from your anthropology professor with a subject line reading “Test 1” and an attachment called “study guide,” and you are staring in a mixture of disbelief and horror as you wonder what could even be on the test. What have you evenlearned yet.

You take out your notebook and flip through your notes and have a couple definitions along with some doodles, and you think, “are these three definitions and an essay question asking me which correlating doodle I drew next to them going to make up this midterm because that is literally all the information I have.” Then you realize that maybe you’ve missed a few classes, and, perhaps, you’ve been telling yourself that it’s fine to skip class this week because, hey, isn’t it still syllabus week or something? The semester just started! Nothing important will happen! EXCEPT, OOPS, A MIDTERM.

February means I either have to freak out about Valentine’s Day or be annoyed by people freaking out about Valentine’s Day. There is no middle ground. You cannot pretend the day does not exist when your social media is inundated by your pals posting poorly filtered pictures of grocery store roses or extremely cynical, borderline suicidal tirades about how they are forever subjected to a life of loneliness and heartache. The day is smack dab in the middle of the month, leaving two weeks of gross anticipation and two weeks of even grosser recaps. Basically, I need another twelve months before I can see a conversation heart without feel nauseous.

Speaking of nausea, in February, everyone is ill. Just perpetually ill. You wake up one morning and your throat feels like Paula Deen just came at it with a new cheese grater, and your head feels stuffier than a philosophy department meeting. The next day you feel deceivingly fine, but the day after that you have contracted some rare strain of the flu that demands bed rest and constant Facebook complaining and updates of the amount of mucus in your nose. The paranoia of germs and contracting illnesses takes over your life, and eventually you just wind up sniffling inside your room surrounded by empty bottles of hand sanitizer and blankets.

And please keep the blankets coming because February is ungodly cold. No matter the amount of layers you pile on, you will find yourself shaking with icicles dripping out of all facial orifices. You begin to rotate the three warmest sweaters you own and get really good at quickly standing up and shuffling away after you fall for the fourth time in a tragic black ice incident.  By the end of the month, you feel like a frozen Satan in the ninth circle of Dante’s Inferno. Don’t feel too bad; even Satan was once an angel, or so the story goes.

Cue angelic voices booming down from above. March is in view. March, the month of intermittent warm days that break up the snowy wasteland. The month that contains the wonderfully underrated holiday that is St. Patrick’s Day—a day of strictly drinking, zero stressful present exchanging, and the wearing of the great color green. The first day of spring—the season of blooming and sunshine and days spent at the creek– comes March 20.  March Madness occurs with brackets and betting and people who like sports liking sports. Basically, March is fantastic and the light at the end of the February tunnel. Additionally, it is my birthday month, so if you’re feeling in particular good March spirits, feel free to send me gifts and donations via the email listed below.

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